Leading in Your Whole Life: A Personal Leadership (R)evolution

Leadership Is Influence — Nothing More, Nothing Less

When people hear “leadership,” they often picture executives, managers, or someone who gets copied on too many emails. Many assume leadership only lives at work — that it belongs to the person “in charge.”

But leadership is for everyone. Every employee, every parent, every teammate. Every human influences the people around them, whether they realize it or not. It could be positive or negative, intentional or accidental. Leadership is influence, so at the end of the day, they’re still leading in some way.

Today, I want to talk about what it looks like to lead in your whole life — and why it sometimes takes a personal revolution (or at least an evolution) to get there.

My Path to a Personal (R)evolution

Years ago, I found myself struggling — deeply — with my manager. I was stressed, anxious, and constantly bracing for impact. Some of it was self-imposed pressure, but a lot of it stemmed from feeling unseen and misunderstood.

And the painful truth hit: I needed to show up differently. Not pretend, not perform — actually shift the way I interacted with her. But how do you change the way you’ve always been? Especially when your personality feels pretty baked in?

I started where most leadership journeys begin: Understanding myself first.

I dug into personality frameworks — mine, hers, and how the two of us were colliding. I explored motivators, stressors, and those subtle behaviors that shape how people perceive us. It turns out the way we think we’re showing up isn’t always how others experience us.

That was a humbling and important lens shift.

Emotional Needs Are Like Oxygen

From there, I learned something that changed everything:

Emotional needs aren’t “nice to haves.” They’re literally like oxygen.

We all need different things — respect, clarity, calm, appreciation, connection. And when those needs are stepped on, the reaction is very real.

Think of someone using a portable oxygen tank. If you step on their tubing, the airflow stops. There’s an immediate impact.

Emotional needs work the same way. When I began to understand her needs — not just my own — our dynamic changed. And when I understood my family’s needs, my parenting and marriage shifted too. Personality differences suddenly looked like insights instead of obstacles.

Books, Reframing, and Seeing Myself Clearly

I devoured anything that would help me lead myself more effectively — from The Speed of Trust to The Magic of Thinking Big to Launching a Leadership Revolution. Each one expanded my awareness and helped me see the role I was playing in my own stress.

And here’s the ripple effect:
Learning to show up differently at work changed how I showed up at home.
Personality insights helped me communicate with my kids differently.
Emotional intelligence helped me meet my husband where he naturally lives — with a gentler presence than mine.

Leadership in your whole life translates everywhere.

Evolution or Revolution?

Two years into this journey, the shift was undeniable. I was calmer. More grounded. More open. I saw other people’s perspectives more quickly, and my own needs more clearly. Work got better. So did home.

Was it a slow evolution?
Or a full-on revolution?
Honestly, probably both.

Sometimes life asks for small, intentional shifts.
Other times it demands a break in the pattern — a new way of being.

Either way, personal leadership is a choice. And someone is always watching to see if it’s safe to join your “current.”

People Are Watching — Everywhere

We’ve all seen strong role models… and less-than-great ones. The truth is, whether we realize it or not, we’re influencing people constantly.

When you’re in line at the grocery store, someone notices your patience — or your impatience.
When you snap at a waiter, someone sees it.
When you drop everything to help someone, that is seen too.

Kids especially notice everything, which is important to remember because they’re our next generation of leaders.

Leadership isn’t what you say — it’s what you model.

So the question becomes:
What current are you creating?

Be the Change (Yes, Really)

Leading in your whole life doesn’t require a position or a title. It requires awareness, courage, and choice.

Choice to show up well even when no one’s watching.
Choice to shift patterns that no longer serve you.
Choice to create a current others feel safe being pulled into.

Because personal leadership matters — at work, at home, in every space you move through.

Personal leadership is a daily choice — small shifts that accumulate into meaningful change. Whether your path calls for an evolution or a revolution, your ripple matters. Someone is always watching, always learning, always deciding whether to join your current. Lead in a way that invites them in.